Funny Truth – IT Sector
Infosys Method
1. Hire a Lion.
2. Send him for training in Mysore and make him feel like the king of the jungle.
3. Make him take a ‘Generic Compree Exam’ – Lion turns into Cat.
4. Make him take a ‘Stream Compree Exam’ – Cat turns into a Mouse.
5. Send him to production which has nothing to do what he was trained for.
6. Mouse runs here and there for help.
7. Send him mails telling about mandatory certifications.
8. Mouse Commits suicide.
TCS Method
1. Hire a lion.
2. Give him hell lot of work and pay him government salary.
3. Lion dies of hunger and frustration.
IBM Method
1. Hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour.
2. He dies of unemployment.
Wipro Method
1. Hire a lion.
2. Give him a mail ID.
3. He will die receiving stupid mails all day.
Cognizant Method
1. Hire a lion… ask him to stay late nights but give him no work to do.
2. Give him Gobi 65 to eat again and again.
3. Hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit.
4. Give them same Gobi 65 to eat.
5. Hire 200 more …. And more….
Accenture Method
1. Hire a Lion.
2. Send him to Chennai, India.
3. Ask him to eat Idli, Dosa, Vada etc-
4. No Hindi, Kannada or any other language speaking people other than Tamil.
5. No good food, no water.
6. And say him ‘Go ahead, be a tiger’ (Accenture’s tag line).
7. Lion dies in confusion he lion or tiger.
HCL Method
1. Hire few lions.
2. Make them to wait for more than 1 year for joining.
3. Send lions from NCR to Chennai and from Chennai to NCR.
4. Train the lions on Java / .NET and ask them to join testing team.
5. Give them lectures on Lions First and ask them to buy books on Lions first.
6. Relocate the Lions from one Zoo to another Zoo and tel them that you are going to a better jungle.
7. Send old lions to African Jungle and never rotate them to Indian Zoo.
8. Old lions at Africa become king of the jungle.
9. Indian zoo lions become frustrated waiting for onsite and join other jungle (TCS, IBM, Accenture etc-).
10. Lion dies according to reasons appropriate for above mentioned jungles (TCS, IBM, Accenture etc-).
Mahindra Satyam Method
1. Hire a lion.
2. Given him virtual ID and Password.
3. Give them a date of joining and date of reporting and then send them mails for postponing the same.
4. Lion keeps on waiting and waiting and becomes Cat when people ask them about his date of joining.
5. Lion gets more frustrated and commits suicide.
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